Friday, May 1, 2015

The seasons of our lives

Most days I am grateful that our lives have ebbs and flows that point us in new directions. But other times, like earlier this morning, it's hard to bear the truth that our relationships with people will come and go. That they will change from a vast intensity to a minor "like" on the internet. I see this happen when one of us happen to move, when one of us change an aspect of our life as we breach adulthood, when one of us change our sexual or life-partner relationships. I have felt this change of tide many times before, as is to be expected, and I know it will happen several times just yet. But that doesn't change the feeling that comes with it. A sense of being pushed away, a sense of mourning over what was. How many photos of friends together and you divided before you can't help but feel the human pangs of loneliness? Yes, these are the feelings and moments and thoughts that troubled me earlier. But then I was reminded that- this happens often, I have probably made others feel this same way, and everything happens for a reason. Here I am lamenting over spending time with people when I need to devote my time to working on my book, studying, and building my independent business. Here is the extra time I actually need, being handed to me by formerly close friends now living their night lives with others. And truth be told, I only appreciate a nice late night once or twice a week. I'm quite fond of my 10pm turn ins with my husband. I like giving my body the peace it needs to recharge. After all, that is what I'm chasing with my career, isn't it?! To be a pillar of health and wellness, to give it to others. Sleep is part of that equation. So, I started this day troubled. But with a little reflection, I realized I am exactly where I need to be for my goals, and they are exactly where they need to be in their lives, or at least where they choose to be at the moment. I have to push for ME, for my FAMILY, that is what is first in my life. Because friendships arrive boisterously in our timeline as needed, and then stay or dilute as the need wains. This evening, I get to share my time with my family, and I couldn't ask for anything more. XO

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