I must remember...

I must remember that time and life do not happen according to my plans. I must trust the Divine to care for me and give me what i NEED rather than what i WANT. As another feminine moment has arrived with the morning, i feel an odd combination of calm and devastation. When will we become parents? When will i put down my grandiose ideas and have that seed of life and love growing inside of me? I create these notions that set me up for heartache inflicted only by myself. The curious notion that somehow our first attempt at actually timing our sexual activity would manifest a child. The attempt to give harry some kind of wonderous news on father's day that he wasn't expecting. I am creating pitfalls for myself. I must find the balance between sending my intentions to become pregnant out into the Universe without over exaggerating what my body is capable of. I, in fact, am only still learning what my body can do. I am only beginning to grow the seed of the Goddess within myself to bloom; expecting to harvest another Soul is fairly egotistical. I am seeking patience, service, and guidance outside of myself. I think i need a day in the woods tomorrow to set my intentions and self love in Gaia so that i may truly find the peace i seek in my heart in this moment.

Healthy & happy!

Life is such a blessing! God has been so gracious to me, and i'm seeing it in big & little things. Sitting on our porch opens my eyes to the beauty in my life. Nature and my family- all in the presence of God- what more could i need?!?! Well, nothing, but i receive more!!! I registered for 3 classes so far in the fall!!! Time to really push myself to grow. Nursing is something i should have considered a million years ago. I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited! I long to better myself and have a real career. I just keep thinking of how i want to pave the way for my future, for our future. When we're older and both able to retire, i'll be so grateful i worked hard now. I'm getting myself back on track with my exercising and food as well. I'm able to move past the road bumps now. I acknowledge them, i move on; i cannot give those moments any more time or energy than they already take. So on to bigger and better things- in everything in life! We grilled a bunch of meat yesterday, boom! Back in the food prep train! We have to go grocery shopping so veggies & rice are being made as needed, plus i prefer to have them fresh. And back to morning workouts and breakfast shakes!!! :)

Also, harry shaved his beard yesterday morning and the pens ended up losing... I'm blaming him entirely ;p hahahaha

Chicken marinated in a ginger dressing, grilled.

93% lean patties stuffed with a tiny piece of pepperjack for extra kick!

Dinner last night: edamame & 2 of my lean patties!

Yum!!! This morning's breakfast/ post-workout shake!

The last photo taken of the beard- Monday night at Primanti's before the Crosses show. RIP beard

Quick catch up

Oh, life- so good to me! This weekend was jam packed- but fun!! On saturday, i came home to our precious new fur baby!!! I can't believe just how much harry loves me... Enough to get a cat. Plus he's a bigger softie than most guys, so he immediately fell in love with him.

We named him Church (like the cat in Pet Sematary- yes we're freaks). He and Jethro have a mutual happiness with each other's existence, but they're still working on being best brothers and actually spending more than 5 seconds together. 

That night, Amber dyed my hair. I finally gave in to the ombre craze. Beautiful vibrant red on top, blonde ends. I love it! Also, she claimed to be a non- cat person but fell in love with him immediately! 

Sunday was INSANE! But the day worked out and ended up being fun. I started the morning off going to church with my friend Darla. It was a neat church and service but i probably should've kept my morning free. Strictly for time and calmness. I ended up accidentally leaving my wallet there (they had a coffee bar- the bane of my existence). The service went a little longer than i expected, so i ended up asking my step mom to pick me up there so we could dash off to my brother's. Thank goodmess sheri grew up in baldwin and knew where the church was. It used to be the willock club but was converted to a church. Imagine that; always at a bar, even in sobriety ;p

Lunch was great, i love spending time with josh, amy, and the boys. Plus the ride to and from with sheri and grandma katie was hilarious!

Mmm you don't have to tell me twice to eat a burger with an egg and avocado+salsa!

And speaking went well. I'm looking forward to doing it again at the end of the month. I get such a good rush from doing it. Plus, above that, it touches my heart so much to talk to people after. The Pens played their first game in the second series of  the playoffs, so a bunch of us rushed back to my place to watch the rest of the game with hubby. Their win sealed the deal that it was a good day!!

Monday was a date day for us, for the most part. We dropped Sylvester off, so fingers crossed we get my car back by tomorrow at the latest. Harry fooled me again... We had planned on "going to Construction Junction" after we left the garage but what we REALLY did was go pick up a vanity in Lawrenceville! Such a dream boat. It's become blatantly apparent that my dressing room is officially the most important room in the house! Or at least the one that will be completed first. 

I love it!!!!! We just have to pick out some new handles since a few are broken or missing. The ones that are ok are neat but i can't have mismatched handles. And they're pretty but not on the level of must-find-matching-ones-or-i'll-die. For now, i'm using the stool amber gave me. I don't know what i want there long term. Now all i have left to do is paint the walls and build the ottoman with harry! I'll probably get a little area rug for under the ottoman but that won't happen until after we build it so that  i can make sure it doesn't overpower or underwhelm the rest  of the room. Oh man. One room being close to completion is so exciting!!! Only a bazillion more to go hahahaha. We did end up going to Construction Junction; got a million ideas! What an awesome place. It made me really happy to peek my head in at Free Ride too. I haven't been there in so long. We had lunch at Hakkaido- YUM! Kitty and Sue visited us for a bit. We set up the treadmill downstairs. So it was a productive day! We spent the evening celebrating Cinco de Dano~ in other words, a birthday party for Dan. I ended up eating sooo much, both a mix of healthy and crappy. I'm paying for it today, ugh. But it was fun. Seeing our friends that are family and watching the Pens dominate with a 2-0 shutout was great!! Plus, anytime i get baby snuggles, i'm a happy lady!!! 

So excited to finally get to hold little Tyler!! 

Oh boy!!!

Well, i'm jumping im with both feet; i reserved my spot to take my placement test for school!!! Oh MAN i am nervous about math & science! Haha. I can crush english, no problem. Which of course basically means nothing in what i'm trying to do HAHAHA. Oh well. I'm committed!

I'm so excited to get my schooling going. I want to have a meaningful career SO BADLY! It means the world to have harry support me on this.  

I called and made our first mortgage payment today! Gah! It's so real now! Now that it hasn't been. I just love seeing us get our wonderful family & life together. I'm so grateful for my life, for our life together!

I totally went wild last night amd ate wings AND fries. Haha sheesh. But the rest of the day was full of good, healthy choices. So i'm not going to kick myself for it. Just moving on! I drank salt water today to get my system moving (ahem, a certain part of me moving- ew sorry not going to say more than that! Ha). And i made a delicious breakfast to get me going. I ran out of time to workout before work but i think i'll do a 20 min tabata workout later, just to get something in. 

Mmm nothing says delicious like cooking in coconut oil!!! My breakfast egg wrap! Spinach wrap, 4 egg whites cooked in coconut oil, kale & other greens, salsa, and chia seeds. YUM! And motivation to continue the healthy choices throughout the day!